Grief Therapy: Why Loss Hits High-Functioning People Differently (And How We Can Help)
Grief therapy offers a path forward when loss has shattered the carefully constructed world you've built. If you've always been the person who holds everything together, the one others rely on, the high achiever who powers through challenges with determination and grit, losing someone you love can feel like the ground has disappeared beneath your feet. Suddenly, the same skills that have helped you succeed in your career, maintain your relationships, and navigate life's obstacles feel useless against this particular kind of pain.
Grief therapy at Mind, Body, Soulmates is designed specifically for people like you. You're used to performing at high levels, and you may find traditional approaches to loss feel inadequate or even dismissive of your experience. Here's the thing: you're not broken for struggling with this. You're human. And sometimes the very traits that make you successful (your drive, your perfectionism, your tendency to push through discomfort) can actually make processing grief more complicated.
We get it. Our team of experienced therapists understands that grief doesn't care about your job title, your accomplishments, or how well you've managed everything else in your life. Loss is the great equalizer, and it often hits high-functioning people in ways they never anticipated.
The Unique Grief Experience of High Achievers
When you've spent your career as an attorney, nurse practitioner, engineer, or business owner, you've developed a particular relationship with problem-solving. Challenges present themselves, you analyze them, develop a strategy, and execute. This approach has served you incredibly well. Until now.
Grief isn't a problem to be solved. It's an experience to be lived through, and that distinction can feel deeply uncomfortable for people who are used to fixing things. You might find yourself frustrated that you can't simply "work harder" at grief and make it go away faster. Or you might be confused about why your usual productivity hacks and mental frameworks aren't helping you feel better.
Here's something important: the skills that make you high-functioning aren't liabilities in grief. They just need to be redirected. The same capacity for deep focus that helps you excel professionally can help you engage meaningfully with your grief process. The discipline that's built your career can support consistent engagement with healing practices. Your ability to sit with complexity in your work translates to sitting with the complicated emotions that loss brings.
But first, you may need permission to approach grief differently than you approach other challenges. That's where we come in.
Common Patterns We See in High-Functioning Grievers
After years of working with attorneys, healthcare professionals, engineers, executives, and other high achievers in our Wheat Ridge office and through online sessions throughout Colorado, we've noticed some patterns in how grief shows up for this population.
The Compartmentalizer
You've gotten really good at putting your emotions in a box during work hours. Maybe you take on extra projects or work longer hours because at least at work, things make sense. Then you come home and the grief is waiting for you, maybe bigger and louder than it was before you tried to shut it out.
The Analyzer
You've read every book on grief. You understand the stages (and you know they're not actually linear). You can explain the neuroscience of loss and the psychology of attachment. But knowing about grief hasn't made you feel any better, and you're starting to wonder if understanding is actually a defense mechanism.
The Performer
Everyone keeps telling you how "strong" you are, how "well" you're handling everything. And part of you has started to believe that you need to maintain this image. But the gap between how you present and how you actually feel is growing, and maintaining the performance is exhausting.
The Helper
You've been so focused on supporting everyone else through this loss (your family members, your colleagues who are affected, your kids) that you haven't had space to process your own grief. Taking care of others feels familiar and purposeful. Making space for your own pain feels selfish and indulgent.
The Perfectionist Griever
You're worried you're not grieving "right." You've compared your process to others and found yourself lacking. Maybe you feel like you should be further along, or you're concerned that you're too sad (or not sad enough). The same standards you hold yourself to professionally have crept into your grief process.
Do any of these sound familiar? If so, you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you. These are normal responses for people who have developed particular coping strategies through their professional and personal lives.
What Makes Grief Therapy Different from "Just Talking About It"
You might have friends and family who want to support you through your loss. And that support matters. A lot. But there's a difference between talking to people who care about you and engaging in therapeutic work specifically designed to help you process grief.
When you talk to friends, they often want to make you feel better. They might change the subject when things get too heavy, offer advice you didn't ask for, or share their own experiences in ways that shift focus away from your pain. They love you, and they're doing their best.
In therapy, we create a dedicated space where your grief is the priority. We're not uncomfortable with your tears or your anger or your confusion. We're trained to sit with you in the difficult places without trying to rush you through them. And we bring evidence-based approaches that actually help grief move through your system rather than getting stuck.
At Mind, Body, Soulmates, we use modalities like EMDR, somatic therapy, and parts work to help grief that has gotten lodged in your body and nervous system. Sometimes grief isn't just emotional. It's physical. You might notice tension you're carrying, changes in your sleep or appetite, or a persistent heaviness that talking alone doesn't touch. Our approaches address grief at multiple levels.
Types of Loss We Work With
Grief isn't limited to death, though that's often what people think of first. At our practice, we support people through many kinds of loss.
Death of a Loved One
Whether expected or sudden, the death of someone you love creates a profound absence in your life. We work with people who have lost parents, partners, children, siblings, friends, and colleagues. Each relationship is unique, and each loss deserves to be honored for what it specifically means to you.
Medical Trauma and Illness-Related Loss
When you or someone you love faces serious illness, grief often begins before any death occurs. You might be grieving the loss of health, of normalcy, of the future you expected. Parents navigating a child's illness, adults caring for aging parents, siblings watching a brother or sister struggle... all of these situations involve grief that deserves attention and support.
Sibling Loss
Losing a sibling is a particular kind of grief that's often underrecognized. Your sibling likely knew you longer than almost anyone else, shared your childhood, and held memories of your family that no one else has. This loss can bring up complicated feelings about family dynamics, about your own mortality, and about identity.
End of Life Transitions
For older adults facing the end of life, or families navigating this chapter with aging loved ones, grief takes on unique dimensions. There may be grief about losing friends and peers, about physical changes, about approaching death with fears or regrets. We provide support that honors the dignity of this life stage.
Relationship and Identity Losses
Divorce, estrangement from family members, career transitions, children leaving home... these are losses too. They deserve to be grieved even when there's no funeral or formal acknowledgment.
Our Approach to Grief Therapy
We don't believe in one-size-fits-all grief therapy. Your loss is specific to you, your relationship with the person or thing you've lost is unique, and your processing style is your own. Our job is to meet you where you are and help you find your way through.
That said, here are some of the therapeutic approaches we draw from:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Particularly helpful when grief feels "stuck" or when there are traumatic elements to your loss. EMDR helps your brain process difficult experiences in a way that reduces their emotional charge.
Somatic Therapy: Grief lives in the body, not just the mind. Somatic approaches help you notice and release the physical holding patterns that develop around loss.
Parts Work and IFS (Internal Family Systems): You might have parts of yourself that are grieving and parts that want to move on. Parts that feel guilty and parts that feel relief. We help you understand and integrate all of these aspects of your experience.
Emotionally-Focused Therapy: When grief is affecting your relationships (with partners, family members, or others) EFT helps you navigate these relational aspects of loss.
Mindfulness-Based Approaches: Learning to be present with grief, rather than constantly avoiding or being overwhelmed by it, is a skill we can help you develop.
What to Expect When You Work With Us
Starting therapy during grief can feel like one more thing on your plate when you're already depleted. We try to make the process as straightforward as possible.
It begins with a free consultation. That's at least fifteen minutes where we talk about what you're experiencing and how we might be able to help. This isn't a commitment; it's a conversation. You get a sense of whether we're a good fit, and we get to understand your situation better.
If you decide to move forward, your first session will be an intake where we gather more detailed information about your history, your loss, and your goals for therapy. We might use some assessments to help us understand where you're at, and together we'll develop a loose treatment plan. We say "loose" because grief doesn't follow a predictable path, and we stay flexible.
Session frequency depends on your needs and schedule. Some people benefit from weekly sessions, especially early on. Others prefer to come less frequently. We work with you to find a rhythm that supports your healing without adding stress.
We offer both in-person sessions at our Wheat Ridge location and online sessions for anyone in Colorado. Many of our clients appreciate the flexibility of virtual sessions, especially when they're balancing demanding careers with grief processing.
When Family Grief Gets Complicated
Grief doesn't happen in isolation. When someone dies or a major loss occurs, whole family systems are affected. And not everyone grieves the same way or on the same timeline.
We see couples struggling because one partner wants to talk about the loss constantly while the other needs to compartmentalize. We see adult children grieving a parent while also managing their own children's reactions. We see siblings whose shared loss has brought up old family dynamics and conflicts.
At Mind, Body, Soulmates, we're set up to work with individuals, couples, and families. Sometimes all within the same family system. Our therapists are like-minded and collaborative. If you're in individual therapy with one of us and your partner is working with another therapist here, we coordinate (with your permission) to make sure we're supporting your whole family system, not working at cross purposes.
This is particularly valuable when loss has created tension in relationships. We can help you understand each other's grief styles, communicate about your needs, and find ways to support each other even when you're processing differently.
The Long Game of Grief
Here's something people don't talk about enough: grief isn't something you "complete." It's not a project with a deadline. You don't reach a point where you're done and never think about your loss again.
What does change is your relationship with the grief. Over time, with support and intentional processing, the acute pain softens. The grief becomes woven into your life rather than dominating it. You develop the capacity to hold both the sadness of loss and the fullness of ongoing life.
For high achievers, this can be a challenging concept. You're used to completing things, to clear metrics of success, to definitive outcomes. Grief asks you to be in a different kind of relationship with time and progress.
Our role is to help you navigate this longer arc. To be present with you during the acute phases, yes, but also to support you as grief changes and evolves over months and years. To help you mark anniversaries and navigate holidays. To be there when grief resurges unexpectedly, as it sometimes does.
You Don't Have to Figure This Out Alone
If you've made it this far, something in these words probably resonated with you. Maybe you recognized yourself in the patterns we described. Maybe you've been telling yourself you should be able to handle this on your own, that asking for help is somehow an admission of failure.
It's not. Seeking support during grief is one of the most self-aware, courageous things you can do. It's an acknowledgment that this loss matters, that you matter, and that you deserve to heal rather than just survive.
At Mind, Body, Soulmates, we're a team of therapists who have lived through our own difficult seasons. We're not just clinically trained; we're human beings who understand that life can bring us to our knees. We approach our work with humor where appropriate, warmth always, and a genuine belief that you have what it takes to move through this. With support.
Reach out for a free consultation. Let's talk about what you're experiencing and explore whether working together might help. No pressure, no judgment. Just a conversation about what's possible.
Frequently Asked Questions About Grief Therapy
How do I know if I need grief therapy versus just time to heal?
If grief is significantly interfering with your daily functioning (your work, relationships, or self-care) for an extended period, therapy can help. If you feel stuck, isolated, or like your usual coping strategies aren't working, that's also a sign that professional support could be valuable. There's no "too soon" or "too late" for grief therapy.
Will grief therapy make me feel worse before I feel better?
Engaging with grief can bring difficult emotions to the surface, which can temporarily feel intense. However, we pace therapy according to your capacity, and we never push you faster than you're ready to go. Most people find that feeling their grief with support is ultimately less painful than trying to avoid it alone.
How long does grief therapy typically take?
There's no standard timeline because everyone's grief journey is different. Some people benefit from a few months of focused work; others appreciate ongoing support over a longer period, especially if the loss was particularly significant or complicated. We regularly check in about your progress and goals.
Can grief therapy help if my loss happened years ago?
Absolutely. Unprocessed grief doesn't have an expiration date. Many people come to therapy years or even decades after a loss because something has triggered the grief again, or because they've reached a point in life where they're ready to process what they couldn't before. It's never too late.
What's the difference between grief therapy and grief support groups?
Both can be valuable, and some people benefit from both. Support groups offer community and the knowledge that you're not alone. Individual therapy offers personalized attention, deeper processing, and the use of specific therapeutic techniques tailored to your needs. We can help you determine what's right for you.
Do you work with anticipatory grief (grief before someone dies)?
Yes. Anticipatory grief (the grief that begins when you know loss is coming) is just as real and deserving of support. We work with people who are facing the terminal illness of a loved one, who are navigating their own health challenges, or who are caring for aging parents.
Can couples come to grief therapy together?
Yes, we offer grief support for couples who have experienced a shared loss. Sometimes couples grieve very differently, which can create tension. Therapy can help you understand each other's grief styles and support each other more effectively.
What if I'm not sure my loss "counts" as grief-worthy?
If you're experiencing grief, your loss counts. We see people grieving many kinds of loss beyond death: job loss, divorce, estrangement, miscarriage, health changes, empty nest, and more. You don't need to justify your grief to deserve support.
How is EMDR used in grief therapy?
EMDR can be particularly helpful when grief feels stuck or when there are traumatic aspects to your loss (like a sudden death, witnessing suffering, or complicated circumstances). It helps your brain process the memories and emotions associated with the loss in a way that reduces their intensity and allows you to integrate the experience.
Do you offer virtual grief therapy sessions?
Yes, we offer both in-person sessions at our Wheat Ridge location and virtual sessions for anyone located in Colorado. Many clients appreciate the flexibility of online therapy, especially when managing demanding schedules while grieving.
Ready to Start?
We're here when you're ready. Reach out for a free consultation to discuss your situation and explore how we might support you through this chapter. You can also visit our website to learn more about our team and approach.
Visit us at www.mindbodysoulmates.com or contact us to schedule your free consultation.
Mind, Body, Soulmates | Wheat Ridge, Colorado | Serving all of Colorado through virtual sessions